Viva la Vida
by FlameTamer16
Summary: Power comes with a price. At the final hour, the only way to slay Apophis is for Carter to take the pharaoh's throne. But as Ra reveals, the fate of a king is never easy. Now, looking back, Carter regrets ever taking the crown. Two empires. One struggle.
1. Chapter 1

**A few things:**

**This is under the impression that Ra ends up healed/sane again**

**This is a two-shot. No more, no less. Part two should be coming soon.**

**Warning: Dark.**

**::..::..::**

"I can't!"

"You must."

The eyes of the old sun god were resigned, a sadness trailing in them deeper than Carter would ever understand.

"I'm not a leader. I can't do this."

Ra eyed him skeptically. "Not a leader, you say? You did this. All of this. This army is here by your command. You found my book. You brought me here, you confronted Apophis. You are a leader, Carter Kane, whether you like it or not."

Carter's head reeled, and he felt sick to the stomach. He knew he had a huge role in the whole mess. But he didn't for a second consider _this_.

"There has to be some other way." His voice was panicked, desperation leaking through.

Ra studied the boy with sympathy. It would be so much easier not to tell him. Even Horus himself would not have bore the pharaoh's throne if he had know the price. But it was his choice to make, in the end.

"I understand, Carter. I know you don't want this. The responsibility is huge. You could step down. Stop. Let Apophis win. The world would be gone. Us gods are not helpless; we could hold the Underworld, at most. But everything on this earth, everything humans have ever accomplished will be gone."

Carter looked down, pain in his eyes that went beyond his years. "You mean it would be all over. We would all die."

Ra looked at the boy sympathetically.

Carter clenched his fists, and when he looked up again his eyes were steeled.

"Then I'll do it."

Guilt slinked through Ra like a snake, whispering accusations into his ears.

_Tell him._

"Think on it. Do not take this lightly. The price is immense, Carter."

The boy looked taken aback. "I thought you were trying to convince me."

Then again, of course Ra would. The world mattered more than a little boy, didn't it?

"You don't understand." Ra finally gave in to the hushed voices plaguing his mind. "It will kill you. The weight of the world. The world may thrive, but the ruler pays the price. It drains from you - joy, feeling, life itself. Your life becomes theirs. You are nobody. You will be a puppet on a string. Nobody will know you. You will be alone, drowning in a sea of misery, with no-one beside you. And even then you cannot stop, because of what falls on you. It stops when you die, and when the time comes you will embrace death with open arms, because it will finally put your suffering to an end. This is the darker side of power, the side even Horus would ever speak to you of. Even I was reluctant to tell you. I want you to take the seat. All the gods do. We want the world to live on. But it depends on whether you make the sacrifice."

Carter seemed at a loss for words, staring at the god, trying to wrap his mind around why Ra had just said while maintaining the gaze.

"That's not fair," he said finally, his voice pitifully small.

"Your father knew that, Carter. The quote he so often said was born from this - the price of a ruler that runs as deep as Egypt itself. It was Orisis speaking through him, warning his son. Everybody must get what they need, not what they want. And for everybody to get what they need, you must pay a price. But beware, Carter Kane. The path will be treacherous no matter which turn you take."

"This is what was going to happen in the end the whole time, wasn't it?" His voice was bitter. "You knew. All the gods knew."

"It depends on what you value most. Your life, or theirs."

Ra looked up, watching the sky as indigo seeped through scarlet.

"Your time is running short, Carter. You must make your choice to save the world or end it. It goes beyond beheading a snake. You have until midnight."

It was so cliché that Carter might have laughed if he hadn't felt so dull, like the whole world was going black and white around him. If he wanted to save Ma'at, his fate would be worse than death.

Ra stretched out his hand to touch the pendant around his neck. The Eye of Horus burned uncomfortably hot.

"I will know when you have made your choice. Good luck, Carter Kane."

He looked up, but the god was gone.

~o~

"Zia?"

The girl looked up from where she was tending to the flames, and rose when she spotted Carter's silhouette a little while away.

He walked closer, and she immediately noticed something was wrong. His skin was pale, and his eyes were ice cold. He looked at her, and for a second she heard him mentally screaming, pleading, _begging_ her to help him, fear evident in his eyes. But a second later and he had steeled himself again.

She touched his cheek and he straightened like he'd received an electric shock. "What's wrong?"

Carter swallowed tightly, staring back into her golden eyes. He couldn't tell her. She would try to stop him, he knew, and so would everybody else.

So he took a deep breath, and he lied.

"Nothing. I spoke to Ra. He's agreed." He couldn't bring himself to speak in more than short sentences.

She looked at him dubiously, searching his eyes for an answer that he didn't have.

_Zia will guide you._

"Carter..."

And suddenly emotion rushed into him again, color flooded back into the world. If he couldn't tell Zia, if he couldn't tell _anyone_, then he _would _end up like Ra. But he wanted her, he needed her, and-

"There's something else." He blurted, startling her.

"There's a price." And with that he released it, spilled his thoughts and emotions and fears and the whole situation to her.

"I don't know what to do." He looked up at her, forcing back fear that was trying so desperately to come out.

Zia's eyes were closed, her expression completely unreadable. She was tracing something in the dirt - an ankh. Eternal life.

Finally her eyes opened, beautiful amber eyes tainted with sadness.

"Do what you must, Carter. Maybe Ra is right. Maybe it will k-kill you." Her voice shook, but she hardened and looked him right in the eye. "But if there's one difference, it's that you are not alone."

Suddenly he was aware that she was close, closer than they had been since that day by the river.

And it was when their lips met that he made up his mind.

Zia was right, again. He had Sadie, he had Osiris, he had _her_.

Abruptly the amulet around his neck burned white-hot and he pulled away from her in shock, clawing at the chain encircling his throat.

"Zia!" He cried, the scalding metal burning into his skin.

She recovered from her momentary shock and yelled something. A hieroglyph flared in the air. He smelt something burn, tasted ash, and his vision went black.

~o~

He was in a hall, stone walls rippling as if they were sheets of magical fabric.

In front of him were dozens of figures with animal heads - he recognized some of them - the gods.

Ra was closest, his eyes closed, seated on his throne.

The whole hall was eerily silent. It was the quietest Carter had experienced in his life. He rubbed a finger by his ear to make sure he hadn't gone deaf.

"Carter Kane." Ra's eyes opened, and they were nothing but flickering pits of fire. "You have accepted the Crown of Pharaohs, the Throne of Fire, the Weight of Civilization.

"I will not live much longer. My very essence will disintegrate as soon as you take the crown."

Ra stepped down. Each time his clawed foot touched the marbled floor, a thunderous boom echoed through the chamber, until he was standing directly in front of Carter.

"You were warned."

And suddenly there was a blinding, searing agony. He was on fire - he could only see red, feel the excruciating heat as flames ripped through his lungs, burned into his flesh, could only hear his own screams, drowning out the laughing of the gods.

And then as soon as it started, it was over.

With a sickening lurch he was atop the throne, suddenly in the Egyptian clothes of the Duat. He touched his head, and felt a metal ring resting on his messy locks.

He was higher than the gods, and they were bowed to him, varied expression in eyes. Even Bast was there, looking on with...regret?

Horus looked up first, met his eyes filled with pure loathing.

"Hail Carter Kane, Pharaoh of Life."


	2. Chapter 2

**I said this would be a strict two-shot, but I've recently been hit by an idea. If anyone is interested, I might add in an Epilogue. Please let me know if you'd like that. :-)**

**Warning: Even more dark.**

**::..::..::**

_**Ten Years Later**_

"Why?"

Carter stared at the canvas map of the world, rippling under dancing scarlet light as the candles lining the wall began to flicker.

His world was grey. Everything had lost meaning, hope, emotion. He was a toy, being used at the will of the world to keep it together. Carter Kane no longer existed. He was merely a shell, an instrument.

"WHY?" He yelled, tears of outrage finding their way down his cheeks. He wanted to scream, wanted to tear himself apart.

Zia watched from the opposite end of the room, eyes drowned in pain. How many years she'd watched him suffer, plagued by demons only he could see, bend to the force that was beyond anyone's control. How many times she'd been there for him, unable to do anything but hold him as he cried. How many hours she'd sat on the roof of the palace, just hoping that one day they would be free of the storm that had drowned them for the past decade. It seemed cruel fate that everything had worked out just as they wanted just before everything had gone wrong.

She walked forward to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, but he jerked away from her. His eyes were frantic, darting around the room as if trying to find something, anything to hold on to.

"I never asked for this," he whispered, fingers curling into a fist. "None of this!"

He lashed out, and for a second doubt flickered through Zia's mind - through it all, he'd never hurt _her_ - but it was gone a second later when his hand went straight through the wall. He pulled it out, dust and plaster coating his bloody knuckles.

"I never wanted it." Carter closed his eyes, no longer able to fight the emptiness that lurked at the back of his mind, unable to keep filling it with pointless tasks and futile hope. "I can't do this."

Zia didn't speak. She had run out of things to say.

He laughed bitterly, a slightly crazed edge to his voice. "Remember? We thought this might be good. Do you remember?"

She closed her eyes. "Carter, please. I can't stand this." And of course this was met by nothing but his breathing, rough and uneven as he fought the void threatening to consume his mind.

_Carter shifted from foot to foot, wishing he was wearing something other than the traditional Egyptian clothes. Bad enough he had to go out in front of the world for his coronation, but he also had to do it without even a shirt. _

_Zia came up behind him, and he jumped. "You'll be fine, Carter." Her amber eyes sparkled as she smiled at him, the pain of her past replaced by relief. They had made it through the war. The dog days were over. Now was their time._

_She gave him a new burst of confidence, and not a moment too soon. A second later deafening cheers sounded from outside. Carter gulped._

_Sadie poked her head inside the curtain. "They're waiting!"_

_Zia rose onto her toes and gave him a chaste kiss. "Go, Carter. Be their king."_

_Cheeks flushed, he shuffled outside, the sudden light making him blink._

_Thousands of people stood below - gods, magicians and everyone alike - chanting his name as he wove through the pillars to where the majestic throne sat, armrests ablaze in crimson flames._

_He smiled and waved a little at the crowd, earning another round of whistles and yells._

_One step away, he faltered. What if Ra had been right? What if it was too much?_

_And then her face came back into his mind, and all doubt evaporated. He took a step forward, and took his place on the throne._

"I remember," Zia said quietly. "Do you?"

Carter uttered a small choking noise, sliding to the floor with his head in his hands. "I don't know, Zia. I don't know anything anymore." His voice was panicked.

His tone cut into her like a knife, and she sat down next to him, gently easing his hands away. "Please, Carter. I'm here."

He shook, his whole body trembling, and allowed her hands to slip into his. "What do I do?" He asked, his voice a tortured whisper.

She didn't have an answer.

"It's- Zia..." He closed his eyes. "I don't know who I am anymore."

Zia bit her lip, contemplating for a second. Then she pulled away from him, rising to her feet.

"Don't leave me," he pleaded, the fear in his voice so real it was tangible. He was so fragile, curled up on the floor, shattered to pieces.

"I won't." Her voice broke. "But I can't see you like this, Carter. I-" She faltered. "I love you."

He didn't respond. So she took a deep breath, and turned.

"Where are you going?" He finally said, when she was halfway out the door.

"To answer your question."

And then the door shut, and his world was that much darker.

~o~

"You have to help him, Sadie." Zia was pleading with the blonde. "He's as good as dead." She flinched at her own words. "It's as if he's only alive on the outside. You're his sister. Help me."

"I'm his sister, but I'm also dead." Sadie pointed out. "What do you want me to do?"

Zia's eyes hardened as her temper flared. "Maybe care for your brother for once in your life!"

Sadie gritted her teeth. "I do! You have no damn idea, Zia Kane. I do. Do you know what it's like to see him like that and not be able to do anything? To only speak like this?" She gestured to her silvery, translucent form.

Zia stood. "You would do well to show it!"

The air beside them shimmered, and a teenage boy appeared, skin pale and eyes chocolate brown. "Sadie-"

"Not now, Anubis." She held a hand up, still exchanging Zia's blazing glare.

Finally ZIa backed down, dropping her gaze, something completely out of character.

"Zia?" Sadie's tone was immediately concerned.

Anubis threw his hands up, as if to say, _Who knows with girls_, and grumpily sat next to the blonde.

"I don't know what to do anymore," Zia murmured. "He's become so closed off. I don't know him. He says he doesn't even know himself."

Sadie stayed silent, for once at a loss for words.

Finally Anubis raised his hand like a student. "Can I say something?"

Sadie glared at him. "What?"

Anubis rolled his eyes at her and turned to Zia. "Look. Carter's a really good guy. Maybe if he's having problems with his role...you might want to talk to Horus. He was pretty pissed at him, and he can curse the pharaoh as easily as breathing."

Zia shook her head stubbornly. "Maybe. But it's not that. It's him. He's giving up." She felt her throat close up at the words, and had to force back tears.

"On what?" Sadie asked.

"Life." Zia laughed mirthlessly. "Love. Laughter. Everything."

Silence again. Then Zia rose. "Thank you for your time, Lord Anubis," she said stiffly.

Anubis sighed. "Please, Zia, there's no need for that. You know it."

Sadie looked pained. "Just...I wish I could do something. We may both know his secret name, but you know him better than I could ever. Please. Get him back."

_Get him back_, Zia mused as the god and girl faded. _If only it were that easy._

And as she walked off, the pessimist in her wondered if there was anything to regain at all.

~o~

The urn against the far wall shattered, sending shards of clay flying across the marble floor.

"I don't need this!" Carter's voice rose with his temper.

"Look at yourself, Carter! You're falling apart!" Zia yelled, fire swirling in her eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with me!"

"I never said there was, Carter Kane!"

"Then explain, Zia Rashid!"

She jerked back in shock. "What did you call me?"

He blinked, momentarily confused.

Zia looked him up and down, then spun and stalked towards the door.

"Zia! Wait! Please, I-"

She bit her lip. He sounded so much like his old self it was painful. But she knew that when she turned around she would only see empty eyes, feel stinging fear instead of the sense of safety she'd come to know.

"What about how I feel? Did you ever think about that?" She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself.

"I want to do something, Z, I do," he pleaded.

She squeezed her eyes shut, the sound of his old nickname for her almost too much.

"I'm sorry," he tried, reaching out to her. She didn't flinch away, so he took it as a sign to continue. "I love you."

She turned to him. "Then you would have done something long ago."

He drew a ragged breath. "I want to, Zia, more than anything else. I don't- I hate this. The distance. I love you, I-" He broke off, helplessness etched in his eyes.

Zia reached out to touch his cheek. "This isn't your battle alone, Carter. What happened to fighting side by side?"

He quiet for a while, before saying, "I'd rather take this a million times over than force it on you."

Shock flooded through her, quickly followed by anger. This wasn't the answer she had expected at all. "That's why you closed yourself off? You thought it would protect me?" She could hear her voice rise as she pulled her hand away.

He closed his eyes. "Please, Zia. Don't-"

"Don't _what_?" Her eyes blazed, hands balled into fists. "Five years you've been like this, under some _stupid_ illusion that you were _protecting me_?"

"Z-"

"Do I look _helpless_ to you?"

"No! I-"

Her palms were beginning to glow. "I am not some pathetic damsel in distress, Carter Kane! Do you have _any idea_ what you put me through?"

"Zia, calm dow-"

"DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN, CARTER JULIUS KANE!" Flames danced along her fingers. "SIX GODS DAMN YEARS, YOU WERE _PROTECTING ME_?"

"NO!" Carter's own temper started to flare. "I didn't want you to have to do this!"

Zia glared, her eyes boring into his. "And you never thought, maybe, it would _help_ if you told me?"

She spun, vision blurred with tears of rage, and raced up the spiraling staircase to her right.

"Zia!"

Footsteps sounded after her as Carter ascended in pursuit. Zia climbed the final step and burst out onto the roof, the cool night air immediately calming her. She walked until the end of the flat plane, wondering idly how many seconds she would be airborne if she jumped.

"Z!"

Carter stood in the doorway, wind-tousled curls as messy as ever, and suddenly he was just that helpless teenager he'd been over a decade ago, confused and lost and just needing someone there to tell him everything was going to be alright.

She sighed, allowing him to walk up and circle his arms around her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he choked.

"Why?" She whispered. "Why did you do all of this? Why did you shut me out?"

"I love you."

It was so much like Carter, so obtuse and simple. Of course he would, put himself through hell just for that.

She shoved him back lightly, tears of relief coming to her eyes. "You're an idiot."

Carter gave her a watery smile. "I'm _your_ idiot. What did you expect?"

Zia shook her head, fighting the inevitable smile, and tilted his head so he was forced to look her in the eyes.

"Never again, do you hear me? We swore we would do this together. You made me your queen and it's time you start letting me play my role." Their gazes leveled, brown and gold. "Do you hear me, Carter? _Let me in_."

_Let me in._

And it was like opening the floodgates.


End file.
